I've decided to start this blog today, exactly six months before the dreaded big 3-0 to help me work through and express the tension, anxiety, and other feelings I'm having as I near this milestone.
I think that many people think about where their life is compared to where they thought it would be, especially on birthdays. I do this every New Year's Eve and this next birthday is freaking me out a little bit. My life is not where I thought it would be when I turned 30. This will sound clichéd, but I expected at this age to have a great job, be married with a family started, and yes, even have the white picket fence and the dog in the yard (well...maybe not the fence necessarily, but definitely a porch!) Where am I? Single, living in a somewhat sketchy apartment, working at a job that I like less every day (and I don't even have a dog anymore!) Not quite according to plan...
The irony is not lost on me that today my best friend (who is two years younger than me and happily married for about two years) found out that she is having a little girl later this year. She is already living my imaginary life...so what does that say about me? I cannot help but think to myself, what is wrong with me? Where did I get off track? Why isn't that me? I want the happily-ever-after too!
Over the next six months I hope to use my past coulda-woulda-shoulda moments to help push me forward, so I can find a new path to the future that will make me happier and hopefully help me experience some of these other life goals I yearn for! Join me on the journey...laugh with me, cry with me, feel my frustration and my joy. I hope it will be a crazy ride!
